10 tips NOT to succeed in Online Exams
Monday, July 26th, 2010Exam times are stressful, like it or not its human nature. Proper planning well in advance will not stop your heart from pounding. Exams are tough and yes you may fail. Use these 10 tips or not, you still may be doom!
1. Skip Breakfast

On test day skip breakfast. Yes you usually function better on a full stomach, but on exam day it may just all come back up if you know what I mean. It’s bad enough you may fail, you do not want to have to clean up a mess also.
2. Stress Out

Panic! This is your education on the line and all is hanging on how you do on this exam. Maybe you can put it off to later. Remember how you do on online exams will determine if you can be successful with the online learning process. So not doing well on exams could derail your goals and dreams in life, try to put it off as long as possible.
3. Social Studying

Where should you study? Study in front of the TV; if possible invite family and friends over during study time. Make it a pizza party maybe a keg or two kegs! Just think if you can concentrate with all this going on you will do great on the exam.
4. Don’t Sweat What You Do Well

What do you do best at? Got an answer? Good, now do not worry about that subject. You always do well in that subject so why waste time on it. Now use this extra time you have gained by not going over this subject to do something you enjoy. Something you’ve been putting off because of your online studies. Maybe you could watch a ball game, break out the game console, watch season 3 of the Sopranos marathon style, anything to take your mind of the upcoming exam.
5. Be A Lone Wolf

Do not get help. The Internet is full of a bunch of “know it alls”, who do they think they are? Do not ask your classmates anything or join the class online discussion group. They just want to sponge off your answers let them do their own studying. Remember it’s a dog eat dog world and you got to get yours or the other guy will.
6. Try Cramming

Cram! and the closer to exam time the better because the information will be fresh in your mind. As a matter of fact do not even bother touching your books until the day before test time. Remember the sooner you start studying the long you’ll have to keep all that stuff in your head.
7. Procrastinate

Do not forget about time management. The best way to develop time management skills is to put everything off until just before the deadline. Your mind will work better under the stress and try not to be too organized remember the chaos theory if it works for the universe it should work for you.
8. Forget The Boy Scout Motto
Before the test starts try not to have everything you need. This will help you stall for time and if not it will be a good excuse for why you did so badly.
9. Fake Illness

During the exam if you feel you are not doing so well then try faking illness this will help you put the test off. Never mind that this is an online test and no one can see you, this will be great practice for when you flop at your online degree and you start your professional panhandling career.
10. Review

Post test review time! Try to find out what happen, why you did show badly. Start thinking of excuses to make you feel better and that you can tell your friends and family when they find out. Most of all blame others, remember its always someone else’s fault. You are never responsible for anything bad that happens in your life. Remember the four keys to attaining a successful modern urban life;
- Complain
- Sue
- Past the buck, and
- Lotto tickets
Before taking most of this advice remember that muscle on the floor of the mouth that manipulates food of the author was firmly place in the the area of the face below the eyes and between the nose and the left the ear
. Good Luck!





